Have you ever felt like you have lost yourself while you are/were in a relationship? A feeling that, at some point, you don’t know who you are anymore or what exactly do you want? If it’s a yes, take comfort in the thought that you are not alone. It’s critical to maintain One’s Self while in a relationship.
Being in a relationship means being involved with someone else. This means you don’t only consider yourself anymore, and you have to consider that someone else too. And since your personalities are not always the same, the tendency is you will have to compromise – which to some point is healthy but if done too much, can result in losing your self-identity.
Maintain One’s Self while in a Relationship – 10 Steps
Here are 10 steps to maintain your sense of self while being in a healthy relationship to prevent this from happening. Reading relationship guides like this one may be just what you need to establish that long-term partnership with the one you love!
Make time for “ME” time.
When we are in a relationship, we tend always to want to be around that person. We would want to do everything with that person, and not doing things with them might make them think that we don’t enjoy doing it with them.
Worst, “me” time can even be thought about as an excuse to do some things like cheating. “Why would he/she not want to do things with me? There’s probably someone else!”
Well, it’s time to change this. Learn to make time for your “me” time and let your partner do the same. You don’t have to always shove yourselves to each other’s throats.
Having time for yourself will allow you to continue enjoying the things that you enjoy. It can also give you space to be who you are apart from the person you are when you are with your partner.
Spend Time with Your Family and Friends
Some of us tend to forget that we still have other people in our lives, especially when we get caught up in a relationship. Try to avoid this. Remember that your friends and family existed before the relationship, and they will be the ones who will be there afterward (in case you break up).
Spending time with them will give you a sense of self because they will always be reminded of who you are.
Ask Your Partner to do Your Hobbies, Too.
This goes both ways. You can invite your partner to enjoy your hobbies and do the same for him/her. This way, you can both enjoy the things that you both enjoyed even before you were together.
By doing this for each other, none of you will get eaten up by others’ interests. However, this does not mean you have to do it together all the time. You can still enjoy doing your hobbies on your own from time to time.
Learn to say NO
If something you don’t like doing, learn to say no and learn to accept that it is okay to say it. Saying yes, even if you are not amenable to it would lead you to lose your sense of self in the long run.
Know what you like and what matters to you
The fourth step leads us to the fifth one. Learn to assert what you like and what matters to you, but don’t overdo it. Identify things that are non-negotiable and the things you can compromise with.
Pursue your own goals
You can set the same goals as your partner, but do not be guilty of pursuing your purposes. When in a crossroads on whether to pursue something over your relationship (i.e., career). You’ll have to weigh on which matters to you more.
Stay True to Your Values
Again, there should be a healthy amount of compromise. Do not go against your values to please your partner.
Communication is key. You need to keep your lines open and respect silence when the situation calls for it. Learn when to speak and when to listen.
Do not keep yourself small to please others
If your partner truly loves you, he/she will let you grow and will not ask you to keep yourself hidden so as not to outshine them.
Do not forget that loving yourself is equally important as loving your partner. Do things that make you happy, spend on yourself, and be confident about who you are.
With these 10 steps we hope every person will understand how to Maintain One’s Self while in a Relationship!