Are you familiar with the term gaslighting? Do you know what it is? If your answer is no, you bumped into the right post because we will discuss everything you need to know about it. This will help you identify whether someone is gaslighting you or avoid being gaslighted in the future.
Gaslighting – Everything You Need to Know and How You can Leave
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What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation, and psychological control wherein victims are intentionally and systemically given wrong information that will lead them to question what they think is right. This manipulation is very systemic because the victim will doubt themselves, their beliefs, and their sanity.
How does Gaslighting begin?
Gaslighting usually begins from a good relationship with the victim. For example, he/she trusts you. They usually confide something about themselves to make you feel intimate and gain your trust immediately—this part of what is called the love-bombing technique. The faster you fall into their trap, the faster they can move to the next phase.
What are some of their techniques?
A gaslighter will usually lie about simple things, but the lying grows overtime. Once the victim questions the gaslighter’s narrative, they often accuse the victim of lying. They try to use positive reinforcement from time to time, but they also try to turn friends and family against the victim. One of the prevailing narratives is that the victim is a liar or delusional.
How are you going to detect a gaslighter?
1. They lie to your face. Even if you know they are not telling the truth, they tell you blatant lies to allow you to cast doubt on them. This is part of the plan because they want to keep you unsteady.
2. They deny something even if you have proof. They make the sound that they are so sure about the “truth” they hold to the point that it will make you question your reality and start accepting theirs.
3. They use people you love as ammunition. For example, they can use your kids by telling you a list of your negative traits. They will convince you that you are not worthy of them. This is essentially an attack on your identity, to your core.
4. Since gaslighting is systemic, it happens over time. It starts with a simple lie until it gets worse and worse. This will wear you down over time, and you might not even realize it.
5. Actions speak louder than words, and usually, these two do not match for them. You have to be wary about what they are doing.
6. They try to confuse you by giving you positive reinforcement from time to time. It will help out ease your confusion and make you feel like they’re not so bad. But little did you know, it’s just part of their plan.
7. They plant the root of confusion into you and make you feel that they are the person who can give you stability.
8. They manipulate people to turn against them. They try to make bad comments against these people that will lead you to more doubt and confusion. And since they are the ones who give you “stability,” you’ll come running back to them. The more you isolate yourself, the more power they gain over you.
9. They convince you and others that you are not in the right state of mind. Their lies will lead you and others to question your sanity. It is a technique they do so when you attempt to tell people about who they are, and those people won’t believe you.
10. They tell you that everyone else is a liar. See what they’re doing here? They lie to you, and they lie to everyone else so that they can manipulate everyone else. They manipulate you to turn against each other.
Beware of gaslighters within your circle. You might not know that the closest you are with now is a gaslighter.
Do not ignore these signs and try your best to leave the manipulator as soon as possible. Have relationship advice you would like to share here on Local NYC? Let us know as we would love to share it with the greater New York City community.