Introversion has been the norm for quite a lot more people nowadays than before. Many people misconceive being an introvert as something bad – but that is not necessarily the case. You ban be lonely and not depressed!
A lot of introverted people need solitude and need to be alone. However, sometimes this need to be alone, and to find solitude ends up in the person drowning in their loneliness instead. For an introverted person, the balance is a must.
How much time do we need alone? How many hours is enough? How many is too much? As someone who’d experienced this first-hand, I’ll be sharing this advice for people who might need it.
You Can Be Lonely and Not Depressed – Here’s How
There are five things that I believe can help people who need the answer.
1. Focus on hanging out with smaller groups than big crowds.
In retrospect, introverts tend to prefer socializing with just a small group of friends, or even more likely, just a single person. Frequently they are discouraged from attending gatherings with many people interacting with them or even just buzzing around.
They’re very likely to feel like leaving and frequently feel like they’re more distressed than when they arrived. Focusing on smaller groups, on the other hand, might change the way they see things. They’re less likely to be agitated and more likely to socialize and interact.
2. Set expectations when attending a large gathering.
When facing a situation where you’re forced and left with no choice but to attend a large gathering, you have to brace yourself. It’s already hard enough for you to attend a large social gathering. It is worse if you know absolutely no one.
One of the ways to cope up with this is to set expectations about when you’ll leave. Introverted people feel this sense of anticipatory anxiety during socials gatherings that, in turn, make them prone to reneging. However, this does not mean that they don’t want to be included; sometimes, it’s just because they’re extremely anxious about it.
One of the best ways to alleviate this anxiety is to make clear to yourself – and if you’re lucky enough, whoever you’re accompanying — what time you’ll be leaving. This will prevent you from leaving suddenly and ghosting your friend, but the host will also appreciate you letting them know in advance.
3. Be Smart about socializing online.
If you find interactions in real life are draining, tendencies are, you’ll shift your attention to social media and online interaction to social media and online interaction. The internet does amazing things, and that includes being able to chat with people when you feel like it, and also being able to drop the conversation at any moment immediately.
This creates the feeling that you have social support even when you’re technically alone, and it’s an intriguing prospect for a lot of introverts. But don’t solely rely on social media interactions because that tends to backfire and make you feel worse. It’s highly unlikely that you develop genuine relationships and that you get to know a person as well as you would in real life, in a device.
If by chance, you end up realizing and finding out that the person you were interacting with wasn’t who they said they were, then you’re more likely to feel lonely. There’s nothing worse than loneliness than feeling lonely AND betrayed.
4. Always pay attention to how being alone makes you feel.
The amount of times you spend alone while feeling perfectly happy varies from one person to the other. However, you are bound to start feeling negative soon enough if left without any social interaction whatsoever.
Humans — to a degree — are social creatures. This means that even though you are introverted, you will still end up feeling lonely at times. You must pay attention to how being alone makes you feel. Monitoring one’s personal feelings and knowing yourself and your tendencies are very important.
With the proper monitoring, an introverted person can completely keep these emotions in check and their feelings balanced. Try rating how lonely or how happy you feel from 1 to 10 every day and try keeping them in check. In a week you’ll be surprised just how much you’ve improved.
5. Maintain a weekly quota of your social interactions.
Another great way to keep things in check and the last on this list is maintaining a quota of your social interactions per week. Introverts are most likely to have wiped social interaction off their calendars because some feel overwhelmed by the mass volume of social gatherings (or at least that’s how they perceive it).
Suppose, for instance, you decide to have at least two social interactions per week, and you stick to it. In that case, you’re likely to find yourself in the position where you’ll either start getting used to it or in the instance where nothing is scheduled for the week. You might even be compelled to find social interaction either by hanging out with friends or inviting others. This helps you with your introversion!
So we hope these ideas we shared in You Can Be Lonely and Not Depressed help you strike a balance between finding alone time, and feeling loneliness due to a lack of social interactions. If you have relationship advice that you feel can help others, please share them with us!
If you or a loved one is in need of help with depression, here is a great resource & help for all mental health issues!
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